English, anyone?

Last weekend, big brother's son, Khalid (or better known as Abang) came over to the house to spend his weekend with us as his Ayah and Mama were celebrating their ... ahem! 13th anniversary at Redang Island. Now, darlings, the first language at our home is always English. Babah made it a rule to speak only English in the house to encourage his children as well as the grandkids to master the language. Abang is a very bright 9-year old and he can read, speak and write in English much better than kids at his own age (not that I'm bragging, darlings). However, when his parents dropped him off that Friday night, he was conversing with us in Malay, for the first time ever. It was like "ayam dengan itik bercakap" kinda thing. We said something in English and he'd replied back with Malay.

Babah: You want to play Scrabble with me and Nenek?
Abang: Nak! Nak!
Arif: I want to play, too
Abang: Kita main Scrabble bahasa melayu ok Atok?

And Babah was silent for a second or two.

Babah: Why do you want to play Scrabble in Malay?
Abang: Sebab asyik main Scrabble English je..... (head down)
Babah: But I thought you like to play Scrabble, in English?
Abang: Hm......

Mama immediately noticed something is definitely wrong with her grandson so she took his arm and led him to sit beside her.

Mama: Do you have something to tell us, Abang?
Abang: Tak ade......
Mama: It's ok, you can tell Nenek and Atok and Ayah Arif and Mama Siti (yes, my name starts with Siti, dearies). We won't get angry or anything
Abang: Kawan Abang kate......
Mama: Yes, dear. Go on
Abang: Kawan Abang kate sape pandai English tu pondan!

Imagine our surprise, darlings! Arif almost fell off from the sofa.

Babah: Why did your friend say that?

And Abang proceeded to tell us that in his class, besides him and a few Chinese and Indian boys, only girls excelled in English language. Meaning, he is the only Malay boy who gets the high marks for the subject. His English teacher always sung him praises. And he told us other Malay boys in his class refused to be friend with him because he is good with the language and they even teased him about it by calling him "Pondan". Arif cursed as Babah winced while I patted the rather depressed Abang on his shoulder. Poor boy.

He was alienated by his friends just because he is English-proficient (did I get that correct?). That's very sad, don't you think so, darlings? The kids are taking peer-pressure to another level nowadays, I tell you. Instead of looking up to him, they are mocking him and calling him name. Is it Abang's fault that he could master the language well even though he is only 9? I know that sometimes people thought an English-speaking 9-year old is a snob, but Abang is a really sweet child. He will converse in Malay with other people and converse in English when he really need to because he said that "Not everyone can understand English".

I personally believe that it is rather important for a child to master English because nowadays, English is THE language if you want to move forward. Not that I'm degrading our very own mother language, darlings, but it is a fact that English is very important. Even Maths and Science are taught in English in schools! Babah has done a wonderful job in incorporating the "English only" rule at home as all his children and his grandkids are rather good at the language. We are not allowed to laugh or scold when people make mistakes in pronunciation or grammar or whatever when it comes to mastering the language, instead we are to correct the mistakes for the person gently.

Nevertheless, I thought Babah handled the situation pretty well. Well, of course, darlings! He had his hands full with 4 boys and 2 girls to brought up once upon time. Now, he has his little baby girl (ahem!) and her twin brother to look after, because they simply refuse to leave the house.

Babah: Then you will never speak English again?
Abang: I want to... (hooray! He's back to English)
Babah: Are you afraid of your friends?
Abang: No. It's just that I don't like it when they call me "Pondan"
Babah: I speak English. Ayah Arif speaks English. Even your father speaks English. We are "Pondan" as well?
Abang: NO! (horrified!)
Babah: There are a lot of people out there who can speak English and they do speak English every time. Tun speaks English as well, and the Angkasawan. They are not "Pondan". They are very successful, aren't they?
Abang: Yes. They are my heroes! They are not "Pondan"!
Babah: There you go, son. Tell that to your friends the next time they call you "Pondan"
Arif: And remember, Abang, you have to fight for us boys, you know. You can't let the girls win every time
Abang: Sure can, Ayah Arif! We're going to beat the girls!
Arif: Now that's my boy

Arif shot me a very smug smile, a smile that said "We boys are the best". Yes, Arif, whatever. And I heard Mama said to Babah "Khalid is going to conquer the world one day". Indeed, Mama.

Say what!?

Yesterday as The Boss walked into the office, he announced to his secretary that his brother is dropping by a little before afternoon. I swore I saw the little lady made a face but she quickly covered it up with a huge smile and said OK. Then, the little lady told other ladies about the very little news and all the ladies formed a circle of some sort and started whispering among them. How odd! I know The Boss' brother is kinda handsome and hunky. But the way the ladies were whispering among each other, you would thought that The Brother is some kind of an ogre. Weird, really, darlings. They should be excited and start pulling their make-up kits to doll up their face just like when a friend of The Boss from Milan stopped by not so long ago (he was simply gorgeous, dahlings! He exuded testosterones and male domination to the perfection).

11 a.m, The Brother appeared with a friend in a tow. The Brother looked like he just came out of the pages in a fashion magazine with his dark purple t-shirt which fitted him just nice, showing off his toned muscles (excuse me while I wipe the drool off my chin), jeans that also fitted him like a second skin and a Ray Ban perched on top his head full of dark hair. He smiled politely to all the staff as he entered The Boss' office with his friend who looked just like Brad Pitt going bald (not a pretty sight, dearies). Then, the circle formed again and the whispering continued.

Me : hey shay
Shay : yo. what's up babe?
Me : something weird is going on up here
Shay : isn't that the case every time?

Shay works in the account department, 2 level down from my office.

Me : the boss' very handsome brother is here
Shay : omg!
Me : i know (sigh)
Shay : not he-is-damn-gorgeous kinda omg darling
Me : huh?? what do you mean?
Shay : this is omg-he's-a-gay kinda omg babe
Me : what!!!!!!!!
Shay : exactly. is he with that abg botak?
Me : yeah. how come i don't know anything about this? how did you know he's a gay? who is that abg botak exactly?
Shay : darling, is he wearing a purple t-shirt today?
Me : yes. so?
Shay : bingo!

I was totally confused by that time. So what if he's wearing a purple shirt? It doesn't mean anything, right?

Me : you have got to explain that one to me
Shay : baby, purple is the sort of official color for them! don't tell me you don't know this
Me : so i heard but i thought that was just a mean joke!
Shay : honey, life is a joke
Me : so he really is a gay?
Shay : sorry to disappoint you, babe but he is. that abg botak is his boyfriend
Me : purple means gay?
Shay : in the new world, yes

Ok, darlings, please do get me straight here. Now we are categorizing people with color? What happens to gender, age etc.? If I wear a purple dress will I be called a lesbian? On second thought, that didn't sound too bad. No, no! I am very straight, darlings, that the ruler is crooker than me. I have nothing against gay people, nothing. In fact, I have lots of friends who are gay. But the new definition of the color purple just got me puzzled. Don't you, darlings?

Goodbye lovah!

As I arrived to work yesterday morning, an IM popped on my monitor...

Shay : 911 reply asap
Me : it's 9 am
Shay : male A is getting married!!!!!!!
Me : i know babe
Shay : what! how? when???

Now, now, darlings. Before I even go on with this very female conversation, let me explain here that Male A is actually an ex. My ex boyfriend. We were together for about 3 years before going our own ways. Shay, meanwhile, is my bestfriend (not the one who fainted, mind you). Ok then, let us continue...

Me : remember that bachelor party arif went to? the one where the bride-to-be suddenly pops up?
Shay : no!!!!!
Me : yes darling
Shay : when did you know this?? how come you never tell???
Me : arif slipped it out during dinner 2 weeks ago
Shay : slipped it out?
Me : more like intentionally slipped it out as mom asked him about "the party"
Shay : so?
Me : so what?
Shay : dont you feel anything?
Me : babe, it has been 2 years. i moved on
Shay : really............
Me : like you dont know
Shay : remind me again what happened between you guys
Me : i found a la senza bra in his car which was not mine
Shay : oh yeah. a baby blue lacy bra which you set on fire in the office
Me : and don't forget, 2 cups bigger than mine
Shay : what was a bra doing in a car anyway?
Me : how do i know???
Shay : and so he's getting married
Me : he emailed me the invitation
Shay : what!!!!!!!!
Me : here. forwarded it to you
Shay : that s.o.b!!!
Me : recognize the bride-to-be?
Shay : omg!!! that's k******
Me : surprise surprise
Shay : wait! isn't that YOUR engagement ring on her finger???
Me : supposed to be. the ring didnt make it to my finger coz i found the bra 2 days before the proposal should take place
Shay : he's a creep but he surely got nice taste. that ring is smashing
Me : should i tell k****** about the ring? and the bra?
Shay : and make him pay?
Me : yeah
Shay : i'm always behind you babe

The next few hours were devoted between bitching about the ex and sympathizing the bride-to-be. The bride-to-be happens to be our schoolmate during secondary school. A sweet miss really but too much of a snob to be friend with us. The question now, darlings, is should I or should I not?

"Diet is Die with a T"

Charming really, Garfield, as you are a lasagna-addict. Besides, you have nine lives so you are entirely entitled to that phrase. While we mere mortals have to struggle to keep our diet healthy to prolong our lives. And of course, to be the belle of society. Tsk-tsk.

You see, darlings, a friend fainted on me two days ago and I was mildly surprised. Mildly, dearies. Because she is so thin I fear the wind will blow her away (and I, being a good friend always try to shield her from the wind by asking her to walk behind me) and there was no big surprise when she fainted. What's more, I saw her chewing on carrot sticks only for lunch (minus the dips, of course!) and for breakfast, she had a non-fat plain yogurt (yucks!). I may not have the figure of a Gisele but I definitely won't sacrifice all that ultra delicious food we have here in our country. Besides, I have the Malaysian lifestyle to keep up to. No way, darlings, there is no way I would give up roti canai, nasi lemak, nasi ayam, rendang, chicken curry ... Ok, that's enough (my stomach is growling already) . The point is, I won't give up all that for a killer body.

In the long run, however, I have to be cautious. While my heart remains young, my body will have to abide by the rule of nature. But to give up all that heavenly treat completely? Not going to happen, buddy! You could never turn me into Bugs Bunny no matter what. I promise I won't turn into Garfield, either. What I will do, however, is to MODERATE. Yes, darlings, whatever you eat, do it in moderation.

You want that Cadbury Hazelnut? Go right ahead, but keep it limited to a piece or maybe two. Savour the sweet taste slowly, not gobble it all up just in an instant. Savour it, darlings, savour. Roti canai? No problem. One is more than enough for us girls. Better yet, walk to and back from the stall. The easiest way to burn that extra calories. Moderation, honey, moderation. And savour your food, chew slowly. Let the taste of the food explode in your mouth, harmonize it with your saliva. That way, you'll get full quickly. Am not kidding here, missy! Just give it a try.

If you are the type that got hungry easily, just like me, be sure to have snacks in hand all the time. And by snacks I do not mean Pringles or Snickers, dearies. I mean raw, unsalted nuts like almonds, cashewnuts or dried fruits or granola bars. Snack on every two or three hours. That will keep your hunger at bay, and will certainly keep you from wolfing down all that food in just one go. I always keep a little box or two of raisins in my handbag. They are full of fibre and they certainly keep my craving for sugar down.

Now, now. Maybe it is not my place to give you all these advice and tips, but as a girl living in the big city where appearance is what counts first, I could understand what you darlings are going through. I've been there, dearies. It was never pretty and definitely not good for your self esteem. Just remember not to starve yourself or you'll end up just like my friend. Besides, if you starve yourself, you'll just feel more hungry and tend to eat more.

Remember, if you don't take care of yourself, no one will. You have families and friends, but in the end, it is all up to you, darlings. Please do love yourself always.

Until the next post, dearies.

Ta-ta!

Opening a new door...

... though different it may be!

What do I mean exactly? Oh pooh! This blogging thing is a new thing for me! And so I'm opening a new door. A door that will allow me to explore a different world. A world that is without boundary, without sense and without privacy, of course. Oh goody! The chance to poke my nosy nose around other people's life and see exactly what makes life just what it is for some people.

Oh wait! I did not even introduce myself yet. How rude of me. My apologies, reader(s) dear. I am in no position to deceive anyone. Whatever will I gain from that, may I ask? Now, now. I am not so very good in acting, I just do dramas. Yes, pets, dramas. I just love dramas. Don't you? Wicked!

I came from a very modest background. Very modest, yes. But that doesn't stop me from leading a life that is so extravagant (at least not in the RM sense, darlings!) that I could just not stop from loving every moment of it. Oh how I love life! I cherish every breath I take, even though it is a lungful of carbon dioxide and other stuff not worth mentioning. I'm a star in my own right and so are you, darlings. Always love yourself before anything or anyone else. You have got nothing to lose, I tell you.

Oh! Forgive me once again. For once I start, I could not stop. As I continue this drama of mine, you'll get to know me better, perhaps. A bit of mystery just add the spice to life, pets. Be content with it. Saying "ta-ta" now. In the meantime, just remember to grab that seconds you have with your loved ones. You'll never know if they'll be around tomorrow or not.

Ta-ta!